It usually sets in much later, but my election fatigue has set in already. It’s that feeling that you have when you’ve been inundated with television ads, robo calls, and emails requesting donations for a candidate, be it your candidate or maybe someone you’ve never heard of and will never hear from again after November 6^th. Some mornings, I want to rise and fast forward past Election Day to find peace. I don’t think I’m alone in this and it may be due to a twenty-four hour news cycle and social media inundation.

Could it be that our hyper-connectivity is leading folks to disengage from politics?

To be fair, I am not an electoral politics fan or stan. While I am very much interested in policy and the way that government affects the life chances of people, but analysis of exit polls, convention speeches, and watching the electoral votes come in turns my stomach. The 2008 election was so phenomenal because we saw a leveraging of the Internet, particularly social media, crowd sourcing, and the turnout of people across a broad spectrum. However in 2012, this same approach has not sparked my inner politico. Instead, I think of responding to Barack Obama’s emails as informally as he messages me every single day:

Hey Barack,

I’m glad you recognize times are hard. I know you need my support. I don’t think Romney is a good choice for this country but I need you to have a little more discretion with your emails. I’m tired man!

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For those who can’t see it embedded, click here.

If you can’t see the video click here

If you can’t see the video, click here.

Moral of the story kids, practice your plays or you may be the one tricked.
p.s. and before you say it, she’s okay, look the girls were laughing at the end. sheez! i would never post something with someone got hurt … or would I? ;)

If you can’t see the video, click here

I’ve had it! I can’t take it any more. I cannot bear to have one more Black Awards show go on like this. That’s right, this is a cease and desist notice to: The NAACP Image Awards, The BET Awards, The Soul Train Awards, The Vh1 Hip-Hop Honors, The Source Awards, The You’re a Person of Color Awards, (okay you caught me—I made the last one up). However the point remains, the more Black Award shows we seem to have, the lower quality they seem to get!

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“Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground!” This refrain was made famous by General Larry Platt on the opening of another season of American Idol. While I’ve long stopped watching the show and “stunts” to get on the opening shows are known, this performance was important because it captured the political complexities of contemporary Black struggle and the significance of generational divides to the Black community. WHAT!?! Okay, before you think I’ve jumped off the deep end, hear me out. If you look and listen closely to Platt, you would notice he used his exposure to draw attention to Troy Davis on death row, the National Action Network, and lastly told young men to pull their pants up. While many took the performance as all about laughs, we should have taken it as all about politics.

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How many things can you count wrong with this video?

This ignorance brought to you by 2dopeboyz!

N.B. Uptown Notes does not support the exploitation of children, but it does support laughing at them under certain circumstances.

If you can’t see the video embedded click here.

hat tip to LM

I don’t know why every day I hear folks saying “romance” is dead or “black love” is dead. Bangs is trying to bring it back. Applaud this young brother for this sure fire banger. Please send my hate mail directly to pleasestoprapping@comeonson.com.

If you can’t see the video embedded click here.

hattip to SR

(if you can’t see the video, click here)

*p.s. This also doubles on as a n***a moment (courtesy of Boondocks)
**p.p.s. The management doesn’t condone all this use of the n-word … or at least I think that’s what I’m supposed to say.

Courtesy of failblog.org

Click here!!!!!

Sorry the video won’t embed right, but it’s worth the click… I promise.

Hat tip to ZM

Hattip to BB!

This is a pretty good one that comes from the Root. It’s time we had a little fun with the super Black couple and how they relate to everyday folks.

Like just about everyone else last week, I read “What Single Women Can Learn From Michelle”—Jenée Desmond-Harris’ sista grrl power manifesto—with keen interest. After all, I’m just as concerned as the next guy with staying up on what “successful black women, with college degrees, ambitious careers and five-year plans” are really thinking.

I ought to be—for 10 years I’ve been married to a woman who fits that exact description.

You can’t argue with Jenée’s thesis: her coterie of pedigreed, upwardly mobile black women have to dig deeper for unseen potential if they’re looking for “Mr. Right.”

But if Barack Obama Part Deux is what it’s going to take to satisfy them, then her advice is going to leave a lot of women single as hell.

Personally, I blame Dwayne Wayne. Those endless reruns of your favorite episodes of A Different World get y’all completely twisted when it comes to evaluating a potential mate. But that’s beside the point. Here are a few tips to straighten things out:

Stop comparing regular guys to Barack Obama.

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hat tip to CW

Oh and to remind you that Barack is human… ugh he must be looking at a dime on the floor in this picture…

question 2) “what the hell!?!”

Yes, you did just witness “Hurricane Chris” perform Halle Berry in the Louisiana house chamber in a suit.

hat tip to SUSG

First, I thought the LeBron and Kobe commercials were pretty funny, but this is damn funny.

Second, I told ya’ll that swagger needed to stop, but Cracked has the list of the other 6 most over-used terms in Hip-Hop that were around before Hip-Hop and need to die. Adjust your slang tongue accordingly!

#5 Shiznit:

You know who still says “shiznit”? Fucking nobody. If you still find yourself using this or any other word with “iz” inserted in the middle in a non-ironic fashion, please stizop izmmiznediatelizz. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by clinging to this one. You’d be better off adding “iggedy” to every other word like Das EFX or some shit.

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Lastly, this one literally had me crying. It comes from Danish TV when a martial artists “expert” decides to break dozens of coconuts in a minute … my favorite!!!!

hat tip to C.Dot for this foolishness

Today, Obama will deliver his 100 day address at noon. I am sure he will do well at addressing “change” but I doubt it will be as thorough and far reaching as the address by the 40th and first African-American President of the United States, Richard Pryor.

Okay, clearly I’m clowning this morning ya’ll. Happy 100 hundred days under a Black president. Now that we have an elected official who looks more like us, let’s make sure that we press the work harder and further. No need to really throw my blog into the fray over 100 days. Maybe I’ll link to some good analyses later.

Hat tip to RJK, KAF sorry been slacking on my hat tips of late.

hattip to JF

Shout out to www.presidentplease.com and H/T to the lightskinned Obamaniac @GaTech

Okay, confession, I’m not that big of a Sasha fan (Go Malia!), but this side-eye to W. makes me her number 1 supporter!

(Side-eye courtesy of Crunk +Disorderly, if you don’t know what side-eye is get ye to C+D right away!)

So Obama really does have a fixation with Lincoln. I have a 1000 words for this, but I think Lerone Bennett already used all the ones I wanted to.

Please choose the best answer

1) Inauguration is not _________________.

a) Freaknik

b) Juneteenth

c) All Star Weekend

d) All of the above

Answer: D – Look folks, the inauguration is going to be live. Many folks, especially young black folks, will be coming from all over. This, however, does not mean that we gotta “show out.” Before you think I’m just hating, let me suggest I have attended more than one of the aforementioned events (for research purposes of course) and know what it’s all about. A note to clubs: Please stop trying to charge people 100 dollars to stand around inside staring at the same people they saw standing in line earlier that evening or in the cold at the Mall. No really, your party is not a ball (which I can’t figure out why they cost so damn much anyway) and you and I both know that the promoter didn’t vote anyway. Let’s be collectively minded and save some dough. Well everyone except all the fake ballers with sunglasses on in the club who are trying to “pop champagne” they can go into bankruptcy for all that I care.

2) At inauguration it is appropriate to purchase these types of Obama emblazoned memorabilia:

a) tee shirts

b) buttons

c) under garments

d) a lap dance

Answer: A and/or B … So I’m pretty sure part of the Obama stimulus package and Ujaama contribution has been the printing of the Obama’s family likeness on all manner of things speakable and unspeakable. Recall a few things people, if you buy something, make it good. Don’t get that tee shirt of Obama, Tupac, Biggie and Barry White. While it may appear to be the soul Version of Mount Rushmore, I assure you when you take it home and look at it when you’re not “under the influence” you’ll regret it. And for those thinking about C – you know it’s not right to have any of their faces on your private parts… you’re not an Lewinsky and this isn’t a Clinton Inauguration, Aaaayyyyooooo!!!! And for ya’ll who selected D… dude a lap dance is not even memorabilia, but you were already gonna buy some of those, so could you please keep the Pacman’ing to a minimum, this is going to reflect on all of us.

3) The best way to locate people is to:

a) call them from The Mall, yell loudly “you see me?”, and wave your hand

b) tell them you’re near a port-a-potty

c) text them you’re near the family with the rhinestone Obama shirts

d) use your iphone to tweet your current location or dodgeball and let your friends find you

Answer: B, yeah, I know you’re surprised. But on the real there will only be 5000 of those puppies, so you’ve got as good of chance as locating someone or being located there as anywhere else. Lawdhuvmercy if you really gotta go. I’m thinking I need to order one of those portable urinals I see in the SkyMall cause it’s gonna be ridiculous. For those thinking A, really you can call, but it’s gonna look like the middle passage part 2 out there, good luck. For those who picked C, you should immediately tell them being bedazzled is inappropriate and offer them another clothing option. And for D lovers … you’re a tech nerd and only you and your 8 twitter followers will be able to find you.

Well, if you scored 0 out of 3, you should stay your ass home, you’re a liability to us all.

If you scored 1 out of 3, you could probably go, but I’m thinking watching it at your local watering hole between wings is your best bet.

If you scored 2 out of 3, well done, you can roll, but don’t call me, cause my cell battery will probably be drained from all my friends who scored 0 and 1 out of 3 trying to locate me!

If you scored 3 out of 3, you can roll with me, well done. See you in the District.

Wonder who told him getting his hair styled by the lego people was a good idea?

hattip to Youssef

Yesterday Outgoing President George W. Bush gave a speech on the market at the Manhattan Institute, this is probably my favorite and ridiculous quote,

The record is unmistakable:  If you seek economic growth, if you seek opportunity, if you seek social justice and human dignity, the free market system is the way.  The triumph of free market capitalism has been proven across time, geography, culture, and faith.  And it would a terrible mistake to allow a few months of crisis to undermine 60 years of success.

No seriously people, this has got to be one of his all time funniest quotes. Sure the other things he’s said have left me in stitches, but this is just unreal! It’s been amazing how little attention he’s received over the past few months and I’ve had a sinking suspicion that he’s going to give us one more ridiculous Bush move before he goes out of office. But in the meantime, I’ll be laughing at his absurdity.

*If you don’t know why this is funny, maybe this little quote can help you out.

Hat Tip to Abigail for putting me onto this.

“Kunta Kinte shirt? Check! Obama button? Check! Public Enemy’s “Brothas gonna work it out” banging in the ipod? Check! Time to hit the line! YEEEEEAAAAHHH DADDY!!”

“Yes we did!!! ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!! All hail the New Chief.”

“Have we seen the promised land?”

“He looks like me.”

“Dumi- Yes we can!! Look what interracial marriage can produce!! Yes I – we can!!!”

“Unfucking believable!! You better party it up, reality’s gonna hit us in about a day, LOL”

“Brother President!”

“Just saw a woman catch the holy ghost in the middle of Michigan Avenue.”

“Congrats Bro, tomorrow we wake up to a better day.”

“First Tiger, then Halle, now this! They like us!”

“Since they wouldn’t give us 40 acres and a mule, we’ll take fifty states and the White House.”

“We did it!! I was moved to tears… it happened in MY lifetime… and though I don’t agree with all his policy, I do see the bigger picture…”

“Sweet dreams and realities to you!”

“Please tell me why i just saw a Black woman with a rhinestone Obama shirt and booty shorts, flying outside the moon roof booty poppin'”

“Brother Dumi WE ARE OFFICIALLY FREE, much love.”

“They have a sign up sheet for volunteers to help Bush pack his shit and get the hell on Nov 5th. I put us down for the 3-8 shift.”

“I predict Michell Obama will announce her 3rd pregnancy three months from last night! Lol”

“I’m waiting for [identity removed] to birth a monkey out his ass to honor his promise he made in November 2007 that American would never elect a Black President.”

“Change is here! We are the ones we have been waiting for!”

“My pres is Black and so am I. I now am a man of two nations as opposed to the lost child of one. Both of my nations need me. Barack’s electon is a green light and I’m ready to go right now!”

Dear Red States:

If you manage to steal this election too we’ve decided we’re leaving.

We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families.

You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes,99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too.

You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,

–Blue States

Hat tip to KCG

And I just found out that there is another movie slated for production. Rza is set to do a remake of The Last Dragon. I’m a bit nervous cause now they’re messing with sacred Black cinema text. Isn’t this like rewriting Invisible Man as street lit? Oh wait, did I just take it too far?

Swagger jacking.

Swagger like us.

Swag.

I’ve had enough of swagger. Not because I think swagger is a “bad thing”. But because it has reached its limits in the hip-hop lexicon. I’m hoping in the next few months swagger goes the way of “grown and sexy”, “the g funk era“, and the practice of raising the roof. Yeah, I know some people still use these terms and do the dance, but every time you hear them, you should look at someone with a scowl and hope they realize their wrong ways.

There are kajillion commentaries and songs about swagger, but honestly, it’s an empty term. It could mean a million things, but now-a-days it’s about a deep as a mixtape reference to Barack Obama. For example, on Urban Dictionary the definition with the most hits is,

How one presents him or her self to the world. Swagger is shown from how the person handles a situation. It can also be shown in the person’s walk.

Ugh, well have we learned anything from that definition? Well actually I think we have. In a way I kind of feel like swagger has become hip-hop culture’s most recent holy grail. Everyone’s on quest for it, claim they have it, but ultimately there claims and quests reveal their own ego, rather than reality. In the end, if you can defined by a single term, that probably means you need to step your game life up.

The Daily Show recently did a great segment on GOP/RNC double speak. Some pretty amazing footage in here. Who knew that Harvey Dent was a Republican Strategist!

What you don’t trust the Daily Show as a reputable news source … fine, fine, fine, here is an AP article on the GOPs contradictions around Palin and her family.

Shout out to JF and AMB for the links!

The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotations

This had me dying laughing!!!!

So the “national dialog” on race has begun. Here is a HILARIOUS take on it.

Thanks to Atlasien on Rachel’s Tavern for posting it first.

Verdict: Wendy’s you are not Hip-Hop.